Destiny Star's Blog

The curriculum at the school I’ve been accepted to is absolutely amazing. I thought I’d outline it so people can realize how much of a blessing my admission to this school is. It’s giving me the kind of chance I never thought I’d have to do some truly amazing things with my art.

The curriculum starts out with a full year worth of basic studio art and computer graphics classes. This is meant to give me and my fellow students the basis of an artistic vocabulary that will be necessary whatever field of design we wind up in. Also that year is a survey course of all the art and design majors that the Institute offers. At the end of the first year, I’ll be able to choose between 3D design, studio arts, and video arts fields of concentration, but not an actual major.

The second year is spent with the basic courses of the concentration I will have chosen. I’ll spend that year learning about each individual major in my concentration and what sort of work is done during the schooling for each major and what sort of work I would do in industry after I graduate. At the end of the second year, I’ll choose a major.

The third year I’ll spend learning specialized skills and software to complete the more advanced coursework, as well as more theory classes that my major might require. Third year is usually the toughest academically, but without the failure rate of the first year.

The fourth year is spent with the most advanced design and theory courses and studio projects. Midway through the fourth year, I’ll basically have earned a Bachelor of Arts, or Fine Arts, depending on the major I choose, but it won’t be awarded until I completely finish my course of study.

My fifth and final year I’ll spend in more course and studio work, as well as on creating a Master’s thesis or thesis project. At the end of the year, I’ll graduate with a BA or BFA and a MA or MFA in my chosen field.

All in all, the degree will probably cost me nearly $200,000. More financial aid will start to be available next fall, and I’m praying to God I get that. If not, I’ll likely be able to get scholarships as well to cover more of the costs, in addition to keeping the scholarship that gives me a free room and meal plan in their dorms.

So that’s the best description of the great blessing that’s been put right in front of me. I just have to figure out how to take advantage of it. Thirty-two thousand dollars sounds like a big hurdle, but how big is it compared to how far I’ve come?

For years I was an abused girl who got used for sex by every man in her life. I was lost and alone, working in a job where I got taken advantage of every night, lived in fear of being raped at any turn, and didn’t have any real hopes for the future but to maybe marry some rich man as a trophy wife and eventually get discarded for someone younger and prettier, hoping that I got enough to live off of in the divorce.

Now, I’m born again, well on my way to being a good Catholic girl who goes to mass every day. I’ve quit stripping, I’ve quit having sex, I’ve quit even associating with men very much. I’m admitted to a school that is to art and design what Harvard and Yale are to business and law, what MIT and Stanford are to computer science.

If I work hard the next five years of school, I’ll never have to strip or sell myself in any way to support myself and live a good life. I’ll have skills that will make me more valuable to employers than I’d ever imagined being. I’ll be free to live a life where I can give of myself to God and live the way He wants me to.

I’ll be able to marry a man who can see me as a woman who will help him and his children attain heaven, rather than as a pretty plaything to keep around as long as I’m interesting. I’ll be able to know that the man I marry will be able to look past my past sins and see me for who I am and for who I can be. Jesus told me that in our conversation in my dream, and told me that my gifts of art and my admission to the Institute were his gifts to me, I just had to take them.

I hope you all understand that I’m not telling you a lot of details about my life. I feel called to share my story, but my second rape was by someone who stalked me at work and on the internet through a blog where I posted my art and photography. If you want to have a conversation with me, feel free to comment on my posts or to e-mail me at destinystar22@gmail.com.

My priest helped me get accepted into one of the best design schools in the world. This school is the Harvard of 3D design. Their program is amazing. The people who design the physical appearance of most of the products people use every day went to this school or wish they went there.

Their architecture graduates design buildings all over the world that make people’s lives that much more beautiful and livable. Interior design at this school is even considered a strong program.

I’m amazed and humbled by the opportunity offered to me in my admission to this school. I’ll have the chance to take my love of my artistic side and use that to better my own life and the lives of all the people that interact with the things I design. It’s truly awe-inspiring that God has put into my life all the people who helped make this happen.

He’s given me this chance to make something amazing of my life. He’s given me the chance to leave the work that might be keeping me from being fully in communion with him.

(For non-Catholics: I’m in a job that encourages the deadly sin of lust in others. This makes me a participant in their deadly sin, even if I’ll no longer do a lot of the things that skirt the edge of or actually are prostitution. At the very least this is a venial sin, which the Eucharist can wash away, and may be a mortal sin, which must be confessed to be forgiven. In either case, I’d have to intend never to commit that sin again to be properly assured of forgiveness. Since I have to go back to work every day, I can never be sure I’m fully forgiven until I’m out of this job. I just have to trust to Jesus’s love and mercy that he forgives me.)

I know that though there are obstacles in my path, but God never offers up an opportunity without expecting a sacrifice, just as he never offers a challenge that can’t be met. I know God will show me the way to meet the tuition that costs as much every semester as I make in a year of stripping, while requiring so much time that I know I’ll never be able to keep a job and go to school. I know He’ll show me how to cover my living expenses. I know He’ll make clear the path to get the required computer that costs nearly as much as I paid for my car.

I trust in the Lord and am forever thankful to Him and to all the people He’s led into my life who made this chance possible. I can’t wait for Mass tomorrow morning. It’s when I’m closest to Him, and when I feel the light at the end of this dark period in my life.

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